


Starlight

by counting2fifteen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Soulmates, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28693404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/counting2fifteen/pseuds/counting2fifteen
Summary: There isn’t much else to do during lockdown, so Dan and Phil go stargazing.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44
Collections: Phandomreversebang face the music





	Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the [@phandomreversebang](https://phandomreversebang.tumblr.com) for the beautiful prompt and [art](https://ayushikuu.tumblr.com/post/640036235499421696/whenever-stars-go-down-and-galaxies-ignite) provided by [@ayushikuu](https://ayushikuu.tumblr.com/) and betad by [@gravyflavoredjuulpod](https://gravyflavoredjuulpod.tumblr.com/). They were a great team to work with and I'm really happy with how the overall project turned out!

“We should go stargazing,” Phil said one morning over breakfast.

Dan snorted. “In London? Good luck, mate.”

Phil shrugged. “I was thinking not in London.”

“You want to go on a trip? Everything’s shut down, Phil.”

“Not far. I bet you don’t have to travel very much to get away from the light pollution.”

Dan looked skeptical.

“Really,” Phil insisted. “We should do it. It’ll be fun.”

Dan stirred at his coffee. “It might be fun.” “It will be fun.”

“Stars are pretty,” Dan said.

“So are you.” Phil dropped a kiss to Dan’s cheek. “I’ll do the planning. Don’t worry about it.”

It was surprisingly easy to rent a car for a night. Phil was still in shock that it was legal for him to drive a car; he had been ever since he turned seventeen. However, Phil seemed to have fooled the rest of the world into thinking he was a functional adult, including the woman he spoke to on the phone, so after a walk to the car rental place and a 5 minute conversation with the man at the desk, he handed a set of car keys to Dan and pointed him towards a small white car at the end of the line.

Dan raised his eyebrows at the car keys Phil had put in his hand.

“I said I would do the planning,” Phil said, “Not the driving. I think we’re all better off if I do not do the driving.”

Dan grumbled slightly, but he took the keys and climbed into the driver’s seat, peeling his mask off and dropping it in the glove compartment. “Do you have directions?”

Phil followed suit. “Of course.” He pulled up the directions he had prepared on his phone. After looking at some light pollution maps online, he had chosen a general area just past the outskirts of London to aim for and prepared directions in advance. They’d just drive until it was dark enough that they could see the stars.

Dan started the car and carefully pulled out of the parking spot. “Lead the way then, planning boy.”

Phil wrinkled his name. “Planning boy?”

“It’s a nickname in progress.”

“Stop progressing it. It sucks.”

Dan stuck his tongue out. “You suck.”

“Oh yeah? Well your mum-”

A car honked behind them.

Phil looked at Dan and giggled.

The car honked again.

Phil scrunched his nose at the car, but he started reading Dan the directions.

They quickly found themselves outside of London. Phil kept an eye on the sky until he thought he could see enough stars, and then told Dan to stop.

Dan pulled off to the side of the road and climbed out of the car. “Here looks good.”

Phil pulled a picnic blanket out of his backpack and followed, unfolding the blanket and laying it as best he could on the ground. He sat down, basking in the warm summer air and stretching himself out to look up at the stars.

“I hope whoever owns this field doesn’t mind,” Dan said, sitting down next to Phil.

“I’m sure they won’t,” Phil said, hoping they didn’t come out to check. He turned his head back to the sky, trying to take in the sheer number of stars sparkling above him. “I always forget these exist.”

Dan pointed at one. “Is that Sirius?” Dan asked. The brightest star in the night sky.

Phil pulled out his phone and checked a night sky app he had downloaded earlier in the day. “No, that’s Venus.” He put his phone down. “Sirius isn’t actually visible tonight, I don’t think.”

“Disappointing.”

“A bit,” Phil said. “But we’ll be able to see a lot of other stars tonight.” He rearranged himself on the blanket. “Did you know Sirius is actually two stars?” Phil smiled, proud of his little star factoid.

“No,” Dan said, rolling over on the blanket, propping himself on his elbow to listen.

“Well, it is,” Phil said. “It’s one bright star and then a dimmer one. They orbit each other, it’s a binary star system.”

“Mmm,” Dan said. “Like in Star Wars. On that planet.”

“Yeah,” Phil said. “Like in Star Wars.” He paused. “I like the idea of binary star systems. Being a star must be so lonely. You’re all on your own; all of the other stars are so far away. It would take years to even send a message to your closest neighbor. At least being a binary star means you don’t have to be alone.”

Dan laughed. “Phil, by star do you mean celebrity?”

Phil tilted his head. “I didn’t mean to.” A pause. “I don’t like the word celebrity. But I guess it works, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dan said softly, folding his head into Phil’s neck. “It’s a nice metaphor.”

Phil pulled Dan a bit tighter. “I’m glad I’m not alone.”

Dan sighed a bit, melting into Phil’s touch. “Being alone sucks.”

“If we were Sirius, which one of us do you think would be the brighter one?” Phil knew the answer, had seen how bright Dan’s coming out video had burned while his own was just a flicker in the background, but he wanted to know what Dan had to say.

“You,” Dan said immediately.

Phil couldn’t help but laugh. “What?”

“Phil, I haven’t uploaded a video in over a year.”

“But when you do-”

“But I _haven’t_.”

Phil sighed. “But when you do-” he tried again.

Dan shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m tired of the spotlight. It was fun for a while, but I just… I don’t want to be that person anymore. I need a break. It’s nice being less in the public eye.”

“Do you think someday you’ll want to be that person again?”

Dan hesitated. “It won’t be the same. But someday, yeah. Once I have everything figured out.”

Phil laughed.

Dan poked him. “Don’t laugh. I _will_ have everything figured out one day. You’ll see.”

“Mmhmm.”

Dan poked him again.

“Okay, okay,” Phil laughed, rolling over. “It’ll be good to have you back,” he added, fondness creeping into his voice.

Dan snorted.

“I mean it. So many people don’t have _anyone_ , Dan. They’re hurled into this soul-sucking business all on their own. Do you know how rare it is to have someone with you you can depend on? Not even necessarily in entertainment, or on youtube, just… in general. So many people are alone.”

Dan hummed quietly. “I feel bad for everyone who hasn’t found their soulmate yet.”

“Do you really believe in soulmates?” On a certain level, Phil knew what Dan’s answer would be. He’d watched Dan’s coming out video. He still had trouble keeping himself from blushing when he heard the way Dan described him. Real best friends. Companions through life. Like, actual soulmates.

“Yes,” Dan answered instantly, without any hesitation.

Phil propped himself up on his elbow. “You’re like, the least spiritual person I know.”

“ _You_ believe in soulmates.”

Phil waved a hand dismissively. “I believe in all sorts of weird shit. Not you, though.”

Dan shrugged. “I believe in things I have evidence for,” he said softly, reaching to brush at Phil’s hair.

Phil’s heart melted. “Oh.”

Dan smiled, pulling his hand back.

“No, keep talking,” Phil said, teasing, though he did mean it, a little bit. It was nice to hear Phil’s boyfriend say nice things about him. So sue him.

Dan laughed. They had been together long enough that he could recognize Phil’s clumsy request for affection. “From the moment we met, there was just… something about you. I don’t know how to describe it. We just… clicked. I couldn’t get enough of you. I never wanted to stop talking to or being with you. But it’s not the initial feelings that make me think we’re soulmates. There are so many other explanations for that. Weird teenage hormones, not enough exposure to well adjusted gay people when I was a kid. It’s what happened after that that convinces me. How the feelings didn’t fade. How we fit together. Grew together, almost. I just can’t imagine anyone fitting me better. I can’t imagine someone finding me when I needed them more. It was like it all happened for a reason. I don’t know how or why. I just know it did.”

“Mm,” Phil said, not sure how to reply to a speech like that. “I love you too, I guess.”

Dan laughed, and then they were quiet. “I love you too.”

The stars really were beautiful, Phil thought. He pointed out the few constellations he knew to Dan, who listened attentively, even though he probably already knew them.

It was comforting, the warmth of his boyfriend beside him, the light of the stars scattered above, the darkness blanketing it all.

“I don’t want to leave,” Dan admitted.

“Me neither.” The stars were so bright. Living in London, it was easy to forget about how beautiful the sky was when you could actually see it. “We can do this again sometime if you’d like.”

Dan hummed quietly. “That might be nice.” A short pause. “But we still have to leave.”

“Is it really leaving if we’re going to come back?” Phil pondered, half joking.

“Yes.” Dan pouted. “It’s an ending. I hate endings.”

“Maybe it’s a beginning,” Phil said.

“A beginning of what?”

Phil shrugged. “Our drive home. More nights like this. A new chapter of our life.”

Dan sighed, half-mocking. “That’s the trouble with beginnings. Always an ending included.” He noticed Phil’s glance. “It’s silly. I know.”

“It’s not silly,” Phil said softly, dropping a kiss to the side of his head.

Dan sighed, turning towards Phil’s voice and resting his head on Phil’s shoulder. They lay like that for a few minutes, just breathing, melting together, until Phil pulled away.

“C’mon,” Phil said, standing up and reaching a hand down for Dan. “Let’s go.”

Dan took his hand.

Dan drove the way home mostly in silence, letting his left hand drift towards Phil’s right. Phil glanced over, and Dan seemed to have a decent amount of control over the car with his remaining hand, so Phil accepted Dan’s hand, folding their fingers together. The car rental place was closed when they returned, but Phil filled out the return paperwork and put it in an envelope with the key and put it in the dropbox for returns. Then he returned to Dan and they started their walk home.

“That was nice,” Phil said.

“It was,” Dan agreed.

Phil glanced around. The streets were nearly deserted, so he reached for Dan’s hand. Dan accepted, using their threaded fingers to pull Phil a little bit closer to him.

“What time is it?” Phil asked.

Dan yawned. “Nearly 3 am.”

Phil yawned too. No wonder the streets were so dead. “I’m tired.”

Dan sounded amused. “You’re normally up later than this anyway.”

Phil bumped Dan’s shoulder. “So are you!”

“Maybe I’m not tired,” Dan said, yawning again.

“Stop yawning,” Phil said, fighting a yawn back. “You’re making me yawn.”

Dan made a face. “I’m not _making_ you do anything, dork.”

“You know, people copy yawns more when people they’re close to yawn. So sort of, you _are_ making me do it by being so irresistible.” Phil tried for a wink.

Dan just snorted. “Just don’t yawn.”

“How am I supposed to not yawn when my soulmate yawns?”

Dan laughed, climbing the stairs to their flat and fumbling with his keys. “Only you could say that sentence,” he said with an almost unbearable amount of fondness in his voice.

Phil turned back and looked up before he followed Dan into their flat, hoping for a last glance at the stars. 

The sky here was completely black.

**Author's Note:**

> like/rb on [tumblr](https://counting2fifteen.tumblr.com/post/640036121027428352/starlight) if you'd like!


End file.
